Letting Go

We took mum to see flowers in Sg Buloh again the other weekend. My adik was determined. Dan mak pun terpaksa menurut. It is good for her; or at least we think so. Kalau tak terperok je kat rumah tak ke mana. Dan kalau nak harap sesiapa bawak mak pun adik-beradik lelaki lah. Harap kami yg pompuan ni nak angkat mak masuk kereta pun takde daya.

Unfortunately my smart brother bawak Land Rover dia pulak that weekend which I thought quite impossible nak angkat mak naik. Tapi macam saya kata, my adik was determined. And he said you can if you put your mind to it.

Sampai Sg Buloh mak beriya tak nak turun. Ada adik saya kisah? Haha. Pelan2 dia pujuk mak. Mak pun terpaksa ikut walau taknak. Like I said to mum, dia ikut degil mak. Mak terpaksa mengalah; nasib baik mak gelak. Kalau dia marah tak tau la, balik la kami.

But clearly mak didn't really enjoyed the outing. Dulu masa bawak mak, mak ada jugak kata bunga tu cantik, bunga apa tu, bunga mana yang bau wangi ni. And she asked to buy a couple of orchids for her. Sekali ni diam je, kita cakap dia hmm. Kalau tak, silent. Tak apa lah. Kita sentiasa mencuba.

My mum has been a strong person all her life. Nurturing a big family. With my father passed away >30 years ago. Growing old independently. These cant help but make her strong. Sampai tua ni pun mak masih has that strong character. Sangat tricky to manage sometimes. Tapi kami sentiasa mencuba (ya Allah, let that be true InsyaAllah).

Saya terfikir this is a post about getting old. Untuk fikir dan buat yang terbaik untuk hari2 terakhir kita di dunia (if you can plan for it, that is).

For me, the first thing to do is letting go of the responsibilities that you should. Semua orang dah makan? Dah tidur? Pintu dah kunci? Baju dah basuh? Dah angkat dari ampai? Yang remeh2 ni biarlah masing2 pikir sendiri. Takkan sampai jadi nenek kebayan pun nak worry about these things. Anak2 tolong le pikir pulak.

Second, taknak pikir nak beli benda apa lagi dah. Yang ada tu sudah lah. Biar lah zuhud2 sikit. Banyak barang pun nanti dah pergi buat susah je anak2 yang tinggal nak kemas pulak semua. Saya dah hantar pinggan mangkuk ke free market. Letak baju2 pre-loved tu di bangsal second hand collection. Lepas ni buku2 nak dihantar ke tempat2 yang sesuai. Yang ada tu biar lah yang perlu saja. But I still have a long way to go. Note : barang yang perlu kena le beli, don't get me wrong.

Saya terbaca the other day, you have to learn to live without the things you think you cant live without. Saya terdiam bila terbaca. Dan fikir. Mungkin my family. Jadi nak kena belajar pelan2 hidup sendirian ke? Wallahualam. Who knows how long we will live? If we die young?

Teringat juga bait lagu Megan Trainor dengan John Legend, we never know when we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you. I translate this more like doing the best for myself especially and for everyone that matters, kerana dunia hanyalah satu ujian yang sangat singkat, so let's do the best that we possibly can. 

Apa2 pun mati nanti pun sorang2 jugak. Buat lah persediaan yang patut. Kata ustaz, kalau umur macam gini tak larat itu dan ini, abis bila pulak nak buat? Nanti lagi umur meningkat lagi tak ada larat nye.

Semuanya terletak di atas sekeping daging yang nama nya hati. Have you seen the photo of an old sheikh yang membaca alQuran yang besaaar, dengan bulb lampu yang cerah di depan alQuran tu? Saya takde pulak gambar tu. Kalau ada nak share di sini. Now I want to grow old like that - berusaha sampai hari akhir untuk beribadah dan mencari redha Allah. InsyaAllah. Tapi takdenye rezeki itu datang bergolek.

Saya doakan yang terbaik untuk anda, ummah, keluarga yang disayangi dan saya sendiri. Semoga di bawah lindungan Allah hingga ke jannah InsyaAllah.





~ AllahuAkbar

Intriguing Istanbul Part 2

 

Nak sambung on the Istanbul trip lagi..

One of the things I wanted to do in Istanbul is to ride on the hot air balloon. Tapi tak nak terlalu mengharap takut cuaca tak mengizinkan. And the best place to do this is in Capaddocia (or so I am told).  

We booked the balloon tour in Istanbul via Ali, the tour operator whose small office is next to our apartment complex. The flight to Capaddocia took about an hour (a bus ride takes 9!) The driver who waited for us that afternoon said there might not be any balloon ride the next day as the weather is windy and foggy as well. Isy, isy.. I didn't want to fly out to Capaddocia for nothing kan..

As it turned out, the weather got better and we rode the balloon the next morning. Yeay..

There were many, many balloons that flew that morning. I didn't expect so many to fly at the same time actually. Tapi MasyaAllah. Sangat banyak dan sangat cantik. It was cold in the air.

We were picked up at our hotel at 5am. Masih gelap. And taken to the field where there were many balloons being inflated. Seronok bukan main sebab ternyata we will fly that morning. Buns and coffee were served to ward off the cold.

There were 16 of us in the bakul and we flew for about 3kms for an hour or so. We landed after 3 attempts; on the side of the bakul! We flew so far out and seem like drebar balloon tu was determined to land on the third attempt. I wanted to land as well; it was quite cold up in the air and it looked like clouds were moving in. Alhamdulillah landing on the sides pun ok la. Hard landing kata dek mamat yang operate balloon tu (please note dalam gambar bakul tu kan terbalik.. we literally crawled out of the bakul haha).

We were served non-alcoholic fruit beverage dan dapat medal! Alhamdulillah naik jugak hot air balloon ni sebab masa pergi NZ dulu our balloon ride was cancelled because it rained. Taknak lah mengejar bucket list sepanjang hayat kan.

While in Capaddocia we stayed at a hotel that is built in the cave. Sejuk mak ai. Sampai kena mintak heater. Kat Capaddocia ni memang banyak history of man yang duduk dalam caves; in most cases adalah Kristian yang sembunyi dari ditangkap oleh paganites.

With out tour guide in Capaddocia, Fatima.

 

One of the must-dos in Istanbul is sailing on the Bosphorus. And we did. Tapi the morning was cloudy and windy. It was very, very cold on the deck. Jadi kami duduk di deck sekejap je lah. Cari feri di Eminonu. About TL20 from Sultanahmet.

It was scenic. I think I will do this again; nak cuba evening scenic cruise pulak..

One of the things I read about is the seafood in Istanbul. Saya memang mencari dan terjumpa fish sandwiches di Eminonu; where we take boats for the Bosphorus cruise..

Sandwich grilled fresh mackerel yang sangat sedap. Cuma tambah lemon juice dan garam. Oops, cili sos atau tomato sos tidak disediakan.. haha. Mussel tu pun sedap. Again, tambah lemon jus je.

We went to the Grand Bazaar for souvenirs dan jalan2 tengok bazar yang ada sampai 4,000 gerai. I like it because it is old dan sangat cantik.

And the boys met and tangkap gambar with this guy! Dan tidak pun memanggil saya yang berada di dalam kedai. Most unfortunate. They said tak teringat pun mama! Boleh? Anyways. kami sempat juga sampai ke Spice (Egyptian) Bazaar dan Arrasta Bazaar. Dua2 secara kebetulan. Alhamdulillah. But of course Grand Bazaar lagi best; but it is closed on Sundays.

One of the things I discovered that I like (And I didn't expect it) is the Turkish delights. Bukan yang plain and coated with powdered sugar tu. These are filled with pistachios or any other nuts and coated with more nuts or dried fruits and flavored with fruits - pomgranetas and oranges and strawberries etc. Sangat sedap. If you are in Istanbul you should get these. And their tea. I like the flavored ones, not plain and strong like those favored by the locals.

Sedap sebenarnye Turkish food nih.

I left Istanbul with a heavy heart. Macam tak cukup hari untuk buat macam2 lagi. But well..

Dengan our landlord Umar (with glasses) and Ali, our tour operator. They were most helpful and made sure our trip went according to plan.

We are looking fwd to visit Istanbul again some time (nak pergi beli Turkish rugs and tengok tudung2 puas2! And also I want to sail the Bosphorus again (in style sikit haha). Do the cable car, the Sulaimaniye Camii etc etc.. haha.. And take lot of amazing photos. This time I missed the Emirgan Park where the tulips and flowers are .. tapi tak sempat nak squeeze in jugak. Next time InsyaAllah.

InsyaAllah di permudahkan Allah.

Maka sebenarnya, nikmat Allah yang mana yang kita ingin dustakan?

~ xoxo

Bila Sakit

Salaam Darlings. Wishing you the best of health and imaan.

Smalam lepas balik dari mom-sitting rasa macam letihhh sangat although mum had a good night sleep. Lepas pergi breakfast, buat laundry dan kemas rumah terus tertidur. Woke up feeling tak keruan. And felt under the weather for the rest of the day sampai malam.

Patut lah. Harini bangun rasa macam demam. Mandi dan basuh kepala. Kut lah nak rasa sihat sikit. Solat. Masa nak capai baju terfikir, baju ofis ke baju rumah? Ofis ke rumah? Ambik baju rumah terpikir nanti lewat pagi dah sihat kena pergi ofis hari ni ada progress meeting. Buat laundry. Letih terus tidur balik. Terjaga dan teringat Efan first day practical harini. Pergi breakfast, hantar Efan dan terus pergi klinik.

Viral fever (adakah itu jawapan standard doktor? I don't know). Sambil bercerita dengan doctor pasal urat2 yg sakit dan is this arthritis? dan dah penat jumpa orthopedic. The kind doctor suggested pergi buat acupuncture; why not? Ini antara usaha kita sebab jumpa doctor background omputih pun dah tak jadi apa. She recommended the hospital in Jalan Pudu. Kata doctor her husband goes there as well (lupa pulak nak tanye sakit apa). Maybe I will try this.

Balik rumah terus makan ubat dan tidur lagi. Terjaga groggy with palpitation. Macam payah bernafas. Dan bertanya nak mati ke? Macam ni ke orang nak mati rasa? And comforted self with a stern merapek! Tertanya lagi macam ni ke mak rasa bila dia mengadu sakit dan mungkin dah nak pergi.  Kesian pulak kat mak, mesti visualize that I am living in her shoes..

Apa2 pun terus istighfar dan zikir. Thinking this is what life is, yang rapuh dan sementara. Bila ditarik nikmat oleh Allah baru lah kita cepat2 ingat pada Allah semula. Kebetulan sekarang tengah mengaji Juzuk 27; dengan Surah arRahman. Maka nikmat Allah yang mana yang ingin kita dustakan?

Teringat pulak ada satu gambar seorang sheikh yang tua; yang mengaji dengan sebuah Quran yang sangat besaaar dengan bulb lampu tergantung depan Quran tu. Have you seen that? I wish I can put that up  here. Saya andaikan dia dah rabun sebab tua kan. Tapi masih semangat untuk mengaji jadi guna Quran yang tulisan besar dengan lampu yang terang. Saya nak jadi macam tu. Nakkan semangat tu. I don't want to grow old dispirited dan hanya menunggu hari untuk pergi. Tentunya Allah akan uji kita tapi macam mana kita nak overcome ujian Allah itu.

Dan. Teringat juga kata ustaz, semasa di university masa untuk kita belajar sangat limited. Ikut syllable yang ada dan tak boleh nak baca dan explore other areas. Jadi masa tua ni lah kita cari lagi ilmu. Mencari dan belajar. Malu untuk saya cerita, tapi bagi saya masa di university lah masa membaca dan menimba ilmu.. Dah tua ni baca lah jugak, tapi sikit2 je. How wrong can one be?

Kita hanya nampak bila hati kita nak tengok. Kalau hati tertutup, yang dangling depan mata pun kita tak perasan. Astaghfirullahiladzim. Saya minta ampun ya Allah.

Alhamdulillah. Ada berkat sakit ni.



~ AllahuAkbar